Just Call Me Lauren Lori Laura Loreen Hussein Baytty Batty Bee-A-tty Beatty

Hi. To all my regular readers (Hi, Mom!): this is a semi-political post. More than anything, it's a human-decency post. Please indulge me. Thanks!

Growing up, it seemed that my name must be the most difficult name in the universe to pronounce. Both my first AND last names seemed to elude the cleverest of the clever. Now, with my last name, it was a little more understandable. Beatty is a little unusual in Anderson/Johnson land (Minnesota), and Warren Beatty's fame pretty much made it impossible for anyone to say: Bee-Tee, or [bi'tI], for all you singers.

It really drove me nuts that people couldn't pronounce Lauren. Wha? How can that name be difficult to figure out? Usually, people would call me either Lori or Laura or Loreen. When corrected (if I bothered...after a while I just didn't put in the effort), people would say, "But that's a boy's name!" Apparently, I had been living my own personal The Crying Game and didn't even know it. I'll tell you, it hurt my feelings.

I'm all grown up now, and realize, as do we all, that it's a person's actions, and not their name that defines who they are. I'm going to be a big girl and stand up for Barack Obama, even though I will fight for my Hill until the end! No one is going to make me afraid of you, Senator Obama, because of your name. Puh-leeze. Just call ME: Lauren Hussein Beatty.

Great idea, Momocrats!